Acknowledging that you are gay can take many years. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were "just a phase". In time, we realise that these feelings are not just a phase and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex. This realisation is the first stage of coming out. There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. For some it happens in their teens, for others it may happen much later in life. Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional roller coaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved they hadn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like. There are several ways you can get help. Delve deeper into this site and you can read stories about people similar to yourself. There are also places you can get help, advice and meet other gay and lesbian young people. There are also a number of professional organisations that can help. Details of these may be found on the Web Links page Or if you live in North Hampshire, contact Freedom Youth using the Contact Us page.

This is a nerve racking time - the fear of rejection is likely to be immense. Bear in mind that there are many ways to tell someone that you are gay. It may be helpful to prepare yourself for the many questions that people invariably ask. Don't rehearse your answers but think of your reasons - it will make you and your discussions stronger and more assured. You never know, you may find that some of your closest friends feel the same as you do!